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迪拜男色诗歌2首--《我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王》《双子星座》
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-07 23:14:15    Post subject: 迪拜男色诗歌2首--《我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王》《双子星座》 Reply with quote

《我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王》

**迪拜**


我只需要那张干净的床
留有你直到昨夜,独自的气息
用我原始的身躯仰望你的裸体
我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王

我渴慕着你身体的一部分
你腹下黑黝的丛林
它就在我脸庞的前面
你的丛林和我的嘴唇都在颤抖

当我的嘴唇在你的丛林里畅快地亲吻时
我紧紧地拥抱着你,你的
海岸线
在黑黝的丛林里,显示我的柔情



《双子星座》(修改版)

**迪拜**


让我如何抗拒你的美丽
空气中充盈了你不断飘散的气息

你宽阔而迤逦的峡谷溢着芳香
冲击着我迷乱的呼吸

我也不能轻易丢弃你的体温
那自由的海浪是我长久隐秘的企盼

给我另外一个角落,小心地翻卷几次卷口
我要深深呼吸海的味道,用吻别勾勒许下的愿

你还在等待吗,还能赠给我一口唇液
是入睡前你最后的礼物。亲爱的----

让我再触摸你暗夜来临前闪亮的容颜
和迷醉的气息,成为我日出前不老的记忆
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-08 22:09:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

1首雅于2首——问好!
_________________
诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-09 00:16:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

第1首

更“意象化”

从写作效果来看

我自己认为是

“男色诗歌”

这一体系的“代表作品”

几乎是“一气呵成”

从“标题”到“内容”

都足以

展现

“同性恋者”

这个庞大的群体的一种“很长时期内的精神追求”的状态。

不受“时间,空间”的限制。



“我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王”

从“环境,纯粹,华丽的质感,性别”上

进行了全面的提升。


第2首

更加写实

对于“直接的性,与爱”的描写

似乎

也从来没有人

这样描写过。
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-12 21:33:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

再次

进行了修改。
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陈德根
童生


Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 18
Location: 贵州
陈德根Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-13 16:33:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

厚重的诗歌!学习!向老师问好!
_________________
贵州省平塘县文联雷远方转陈德根 558300 邮箱:gen9845@163.com




欢迎光临:http://tw.netsh.com/bbs/859972/
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-13 18:18:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

经博弈先生提醒

标题改用

《我们是孤岛上两个纯洁的亲王》
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-13 22:59:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

第二首经过你的调整,已经与第一首比肩了!
——这是汉语诗歌一脉进入新领域的代表作!
——可喜可贺的事呀!
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-14 16:20:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢赞赏

还是在探索。
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