| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-25 23:14:34    Post subject: 品茶[新韵] |   |  
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				|   韵淡馨幽人欲醉,清喉沁脾慰知音。
 苦寒本质纤身品,余味千回自藏春。
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		| 戴玨 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 03 Jan 2007
 Posts: 808
 
 戴玨Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-26 00:53:40    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 律可斟。 _________________
 I labour by singing light
 我的blog
 我的專欄
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		| 梦飞翁 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 03 May 2007
 Posts: 114
 
 梦飞翁Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-26 15:54:25    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 此诗意好。然“脾藏”似是有些毛病? _________________
 我愿意在这里结交更多的朋友,共同切磋学问,共同得以提高。希望大家多帮助我!谢谢!
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-26 16:18:32    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢楼上二位关注! 下面是格式
 
 首句仄起不入韵式
 韵淡馨幽人欲醉,清喉沁脾慰知音。苦寒本质纤身品,余味千回自藏春。
 ◎●◎○○●▲,◎○◎●●○△。◎○◎●○○▲,◎●○○●●△。
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		| 戴玨 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 03 Jan 2007
 Posts: 808
 
 戴玨Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-28 02:43:21    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 脾字并非仄聲字,藏字的平仄視意義而定,作收藏講應是平聲(七陽)。另外音和春屬不同韻部。 _________________
 I labour by singing light
 我的blog
 我的專欄
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-07-28 18:11:25    Post subject: |   |  
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哦,我知道的。为了抒发情怀还是不要过于拘泥于格律吧!这个标题我改一下,就不叫七绝了。 
	  | 戴玨 wrote: |  
	  | 脾字并非仄聲字,藏字的平仄視意義而定,作收藏講應是平聲(七陽)。另外音和春屬不同韻部。 |  |  | 
	
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		| kokho 进士出身
 
  
 Joined: 30 Nov 2006
 Posts: 2642
 Location: Singapore
 kokhoCollection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-05 00:34:18    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 赞成 莹雪 诗歌重在传神。。 
 追着韵律,格律再好也是苍白!!
 
 
       
 。
 _________________
 乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-05 16:06:21    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | kokho wrote: |  
	  | 赞成 莹雪 诗歌重在传神。。 
 追着韵律,格律再好也是苍白!!
 
 
       
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  谢谢kokho!呵呵  当然如能意境格律具精是最好。  |  | 
	
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		| duzhi 童生
 
 
 Joined: 05 Aug 2007
 Posts: 65
 Location: 中国安徽
 duzhiCollection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-05 19:22:18    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 苦寒本质纤身品,余味千回自藏春。意蕴幽深。 _________________
 清狂傲世随天性,仗义疏财任我行。
 博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/duzhizhang440
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		| 扁舟 童生
 
 
 Joined: 05 Aug 2007
 Posts: 37
 
 扁舟Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-05 23:36:29    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 出得太厉害,难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够,只怕还得加上新韵二字。 |  | 
	
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-06 00:10:30    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | duzhi wrote: |  
	  | 苦寒本质纤身品,余味千回自藏春。意蕴幽深。 |  谢谢关注!
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-06 00:14:12    Post subject: |   |  
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呵呵,如果死扣格律的话, 
	  | 扁舟 wrote: |  
	  | 出得太厉害,难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够,只怕还得加上新韵二字。 |   我不想死扣  我用的是新韵。 |  | 
	
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		| 扁舟 童生
 
 
 Joined: 05 Aug 2007
 Posts: 37
 
 扁舟Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-08-06 00:20:29    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 莹雪 wrote: |  
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呵呵,如果死扣格律的话,恐怕都是古董啦! 
	  | 扁舟 wrote: |  
	  | 出得太厉害,难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够,只怕还得加上新韵二字。 |   我不想死扣  就这样。 |  简单地押下韵也叫死扣格律?会成为老古董?
 那写古诗本身会不会变成老古董?
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