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Maple Review Home -> 莹雪

品茶[新韵]

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-07-25 23:14:34 Post subject: 品茶[新韵]

韵淡馨幽人欲醉，清喉沁脾慰知音。苦寒本质纤身品，余味千回自藏春。

戴玨
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection

Posted: 2007-07-26 00:53:40 Post subject:

律可斟。 _________________ I labour by singing light 我的blog 我的專欄

梦飞翁
秀才

Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 114

梦飞翁Collection

Posted: 2007-07-26 15:54:25 Post subject:

此诗意好。然“脾藏”似是有些毛病？ _________________ 我愿意在这里结交更多的朋友，共同切磋学问，共同得以提高。希望大家多帮助我！谢谢！

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-07-26 16:18:32 Post subject:

谢谢楼上二位关注！下面是格式首句仄起不入韵式韵淡馨幽人欲醉，清喉沁脾慰知音。苦寒本质纤身品，余味千回自藏春。 ◎●◎○○●▲，◎○◎●●○△。◎○◎●○○▲，◎●○○●●△。

戴玨
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 02:43:21 Post subject:

脾字并非仄聲字，藏字的平仄視意義而定，作收藏講應是平聲（七陽）。另外音和春屬不同韻部。 _________________ I labour by singing light 我的blog 我的專欄

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 18:11:25 Post subject:

戴玨 wrote:

脾字并非仄聲字，藏字的平仄視意義而定，作收藏講應是平聲（七陽）。另外音和春屬不同韻部。

哦，我知道的。为了抒发情怀还是不要过于拘泥于格律吧！这个标题我改一下，就不叫七绝了。

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-05 00:34:18 Post subject:

赞成　莹雪　诗歌重在传神。。追着韵律，格律再好也是苍白！！。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-08-05 16:06:21 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

赞成　莹雪　诗歌重在传神。。

追着韵律，格律再好也是苍白！！

Cool

。

谢谢kokho！呵呵 do it

当然如能意境格律具精是最好。 thanks

duzhi
童生

Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 65
Location: 中国安徽
duzhiCollection

Posted: 2007-08-05 19:22:18 Post subject:

苦寒本质纤身品，余味千回自藏春。意蕴幽深。 _________________ 清狂傲世随天性,仗义疏财任我行。博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/duzhizhang440

扁舟
童生

Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 37

扁舟Collection

Posted: 2007-08-05 23:36:29 Post subject:

出得太厉害，难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够，只怕还得加上新韵二字。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-08-06 00:10:30 Post subject:

duzhi wrote:

苦寒本质纤身品，余味千回自藏春。意蕴幽深。

谢谢关注！

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-08-06 00:14:12 Post subject:

扁舟 wrote:

出得太厉害，难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够，只怕还得加上新韵二字。

呵呵，如果死扣格律的话， sticking tongue

我不想死扣

我用的是新韵。

扁舟
童生

Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 37

扁舟Collection

Posted: 2007-08-06 00:20:29 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

扁舟 wrote:

出得太厉害，难怪被人说。去掉七绝不够，只怕还得加上新韵二字。

呵呵，如果死扣格律的话，恐怕都是古董啦！ sticking tongue

我不想死扣

就这样。

简单地押下韵也叫死扣格律？会成为老古董？
那写古诗本身会不会变成老古董？

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Maple Review Home -> 莹雪

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