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Maple Review Home -> 月光

铜佛

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 05:11:59 Post subject: 铜佛

铜佛疼痛不再疼痛不再的感觉不再为你或一个梦小时候哥哥把你卖了换回麦芽糖甜蜜蜜的回收站多么遥远的记忆。还有焚化炉的高温持续不断的即便是佛也禁不住流泪，即便铁骨铜身那持续不断的高温啊你不再痛不再痛的你还原于本变形的重金属沉甸甸的如我冷却的泪水

钓月
秀才

Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 05:17:53 Post subject:

充满哲思之美! blank verse _________________ 欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮 http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875 http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 05:38:00 Post subject:

品读细腻的笔调隐忍的非常漂亮耐人回味特别后面给人瞬间的震撼和联想延展了诗歌的空间上去大家品 _________________ 莞君

是有缘
秀才

Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 19:01:34 Post subject:

即使变了形你还是没有哭再见你时像是我昨日泪的凝固 _________________ 蜻蜓点水非无意愁云化雨是有情

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 19:23:39 Post subject:

重金属沉甸甸的如我冷却的泪水耐品~

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-04-29 16:52:01 Post subject:

谢谢各位朋友的鼓励, 近日忙得发晕, 未能及时回贴. 见谅.

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2008-04-29 17:46:31 Post subject:

变形的重金属沉甸甸的如我冷却的泪水精彩 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-05-01 15:39:23 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

变形的
重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水

精彩

peace, thanks for understand

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2008-05-01 15:59:08 Post subject:

你不再痛不再痛的你还原于本变形的重金属沉甸甸的如我冷却的泪水 ............哲思一如禅意徐徐展开.节日好.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-05-02 05:37:41 Post subject:

谢谢理解, 问好赵福治

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-05-02 16:58:42 Post subject:

疼痛不再疼痛不再的感觉不再 ——表意是不是混乱了？ _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-05-02 19:15:52 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

疼痛不再
疼痛不再的感觉不再
——表意是不是混乱了？

疼痛不再的感觉不再
为你或
一个梦

哈, 冲浪, 会开完了? 那是朗诵时的换气休止符.你大声朗读试试. 或许我们朗诵休止习惯不同. Razz

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Maple Review Home -> 月光

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