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铜佛
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 05:11:59    Post subject: 铜佛 Reply with quote

铜佛

疼痛不再
疼痛不再的感觉不再
为你 或
一个梦

小时候
哥哥把你卖了换回麦芽糖
甜蜜蜜的 回收站
多么遥远的记忆。还有焚化炉的高温
持续不断的
即便是佛也禁不住
流泪,即便
铁骨铜身
那持续不断的高温啊

你不再痛
不再痛的你还原于本
变形的
重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水
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钓月
秀才


Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 05:17:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

充满哲思之美!
blank verse
_________________
欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮

http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong
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莞君
秀才


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 05:38:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

品读 细腻的笔调 隐忍的非常漂亮 耐人回味 特别后面 给人瞬间的震撼和联想 延展了诗歌的空间 上去大家品
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莞君
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是有缘
秀才


Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 19:01:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

即使变了形
你还是没有哭
再见你时
像是我昨日泪的凝固
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蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 19:23:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水

耐品~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-29 16:52:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位朋友的鼓励, 近日忙得发晕, 未能及时回贴. 见谅. Embarassed
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-04-29 17:46:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

变形的
重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水

精彩
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-01 15:39:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
变形的
重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水

精彩

peace, thanks for understand
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-01 15:59:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

你不再痛
不再痛的你还原于本
变形的
重金属沉甸甸的
如我
冷却的泪水
............哲思一如禅意徐徐展开.节日好.
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-02 05:37:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢理解, 问好赵福治
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-02 16:58:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

疼痛不再
疼痛不再的感觉不再
——表意是不是混乱了?
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-02 19:15:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

杯中冲浪 wrote:
疼痛不再
疼痛不再的感觉不再
——表意是不是混乱了?


疼痛不再的感觉不再
为你 或
一个梦

哈, 冲浪, 会开完了? 那是朗诵时的换气休止符.你大声朗读试试. 或许我们朗诵休止习惯不同. Razz
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