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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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分娩
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 18:21:45    Post subject: 分娩 Reply with quote

分娩

静静地
躺在水中, 试图忘记
同胞异卵的你

隐约传来
英吉利海峡的雾号
我知道

走远了

宫床缠绕着
我的眷恋

窗外
谁在啼哭?
止不住阵痛. 不及更衣
向你 追去
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 19:46:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy 更晕!
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 19:54:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈的精子。。。冲浪的卵子。。白水的分娩。。
三部曲啊, Laughing Laughing
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 20:14:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

看来不解释一下不行了.
这首诗歌是一年多前(约两年)写的, 以同胞婴儿的出生先后的感觉, 去描写情同手足的友情或亲情吧. 过去发表过, 当时朋友们反映还不错. 半年前搬到这边BLOG里修改了一下, 仍不是很满意就放那儿了. 等新的灵感吧.

刚才看你们闹着好玩, 晕了一下, 就凑了个热闹. 发出来了. 不过现在小后悔, 真的和你们的搞笑没关系, 我再快手也没这么快啊. 这首诗歌记得当时写的时候很认真的. Embarassed
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 00:48:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

有意思.继续.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 01:13:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

双胞胎中那个后出生的婴孩的视角?真的很有意思呢!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 07:10:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,不错,视觉很新~
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 07:37:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

因跳跃而相当地耐读!问好白水!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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秋香
童生


Joined: 24 Dec 2006
Posts: 40

秋香Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 08:59:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

小王子在这呢 Laughing
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佳忆
童生


Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 23:58:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

不解释还真能理解错误了呢。。。。加个引,或题记。。。。呵呵
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我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了
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单菲
童生


Joined: 06 Dec 2007
Posts: 17

单菲Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 06:46:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

窗外
谁在啼哭?
止不住阵痛. 不及更衣
向你 追去

情绪还是传达的到位,握手!
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 08:07:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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刘雨萍
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 13:10:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

还真以为是NOBODY说的三部曲呢。哪晓得别人白水早就走在前面了。你确实有诗的触角,探测到日常生活的点滴。
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隔海抒情
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 14:45:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

有趣。
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