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Maple Review Home -> 月光

分娩

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-01-18 18:21:45 Post subject: 分娩

分娩静静地躺在水中, 试图忘记同胞异卵的你隐约传来英吉利海峡的雾号我知道你走远了宫床缠绕着我的眷恋窗外谁在啼哭? 止不住阵痛. 不及更衣向你追去

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-01-18 19:46:31 Post subject:

更晕！ _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-01-18 19:54:35 Post subject:

博弈的精子。。。冲浪的卵子。。白水的分娩。。三部曲啊， _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-01-18 20:14:01 Post subject:

看来不解释一下不行了. 这首诗歌是一年多前(约两年)写的, 以同胞婴儿的出生先后的感觉, 去描写情同手足的友情或亲情吧. 过去发表过, 当时朋友们反映还不错. 半年前搬到这边BLOG里修改了一下, 仍不是很满意就放那儿了. 等新的灵感吧. 刚才看你们闹着好玩, 晕了一下, 就凑了个热闹. 发出来了. 不过现在小后悔, 真的和你们的搞笑没关系, 我再快手也没这么快啊. 这首诗歌记得当时写的时候很认真的.

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2008-01-19 00:48:48 Post subject:

有意思.继续. _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-01-19 01:13:29 Post subject:

双胞胎中那个后出生的婴孩的视角？真的很有意思呢！

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-01-19 07:10:12 Post subject:

呵呵，不错，视觉很新～

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-19 07:37:44 Post subject:

因跳跃而相当地耐读！问好白水！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

秋香
童生

Joined: 24 Dec 2006
Posts: 40

秋香Collection

Posted: 2008-01-21 08:59:19 Post subject:

小王子在这呢

佳忆
童生

Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection

Posted: 2008-01-21 23:58:28 Post subject:

不解释还真能理解错误了呢。。。。加个引，或题记。。。。呵呵 _________________ 我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了

单菲
童生

Joined: 06 Dec 2007
Posts: 17

单菲Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 06:46:33 Post subject:

窗外谁在啼哭? 止不住阵痛. 不及更衣向你追去情绪还是传达的到位，握手！

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 08:07:44 Post subject:

呵呵 _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

刘雨萍
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 13:10:57 Post subject:

还真以为是NOBODY说的三部曲呢。哪晓得别人白水早就走在前面了。你确实有诗的触角，探测到日常生活的点滴。 _________________ 隔海抒情

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 14:45:04 Post subject:

有趣。

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Maple Review Home -> 月光

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