Maple Review :: View topic - 她有一头秀发吧

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Maple Review Home -> 和平岛

她有一头秀发吧

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-10-04 20:35:27 Post subject: 她有一头秀发吧

她有一头秀发吧都在散落! 一千双手呀细细地编织梦也罢, 蜘珠可有一千只眼睛? 她的一千只眼睛都在泣血! 谁能有一千条生命? 只有道路密密麻麻... 一千条都是尽头啊! 如果可以从尽头走起她有一头的秀发吧弯腰的一刻我看见一千条青蛇在春风柔柔里舞动爱也罢, 蝴蝶可有一千件彩衣她的一千件彩衣啊都纷纷的化为灰烬——谁没有过靠港的憧憬呀请伸出你的双手! 一千条缆绳开出了一千朵浪花她有纤纤的素手吧每一个音符都是破碎了的美梦恨也罢, 一千个海湾都漂泊着它乡它乡又有什么意思! 归去来兮, 归去来兮活着就真的是希望吗? 那就把希望都留给活着的人吧! 她可有一头轻飘飘的秀发? 轻飘飘的飞过红尘的雪片呀你可曾见过? 天堂可有一千支蜡烛? 她的心里一定有一千个小小结解开吧, 解开吧, 彼岸一千朵小花都在为你开放! 《彼岸花》你不在了，接待我的是三朵小花留给懂花的人惊，艳，夺命花开花落，都是罪恶的温柔女人，花我还要用多少个春天忍受你的美丽！我已经瞎了我依旧梦见了你星星像雨水一样从昨夜的眼睛滴落那么大的眼睛啊众魔都背过脸去注: 看了刘安安的博客, 很感慨, 写几句 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-10-04 20:54:49 Post subject:

更喜欢的还是后一首。自在的语感，有意无意的一回头，给人的却是很痛一击。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-04 22:35:15 Post subject:

《彼岸花》又见风采。第一首。。。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

jemmy
秀才

Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-04 23:55:55 Post subject:

喜欢后一首,象岛爷这样的人也会说情呐 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

舒中
秀才

Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 133

舒中Collection

Posted: 2007-10-05 04:40:02 Post subject:

学习问好和平岛先生!

千里
秀才

Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 135

千里Collection

Posted: 2007-10-05 05:01:05 Post subject:

我已经瞎了我依旧梦见了你

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2007-10-05 05:30:32 Post subject:

为什么都喜欢第二首？相对集中些。但“彼岸”的空间感还是不够。岛主：直言了。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-05 05:41:45 Post subject:

星星像雨水一样从昨夜的眼睛滴落那么大的眼睛啊众魔都背过脸去更喜欢第二首～第一首利用重复性的象征意象，写得很自如，也不错～

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-10-05 05:46:31 Post subject:

花开花落，都是罪当今社会, 还是留这朵吧

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Maple Review Home -> 和平岛

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