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《轮渡•哪些闪光的都是金子吗》
hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-05-01 22:07:11    Post subject: 《轮渡?哪些闪光的都是金子吗》 Reply with quote

一根青筋暴跳的铁索
把东往西提高
到一万八千里的雪峰
积雪每天都要打开的

青烟缭绕的老棱镜,擦拭
通往天堂的每一条捷径
印第安族狩猎者,早期的英国皮货贸易商
能翻过那座大山的
都是些幸运儿
随便打开历史的哪一面

你都能听到些奇怪的回音
由26个字母缝制的
殖民者,冒险家,暴发户
唯独修理地球的偷渡客
暗敛起骨架里的每一个小细胞
每一片棱镜的裂缝里
都蕴藏着 不曾熄灭的小篝火

一条金光闪闪的铁索
牵动着地球
每一块健康的肌肉
是谁扯住了你的动脉呢,Sam
谁又在为你鲜血喷流

能从一块巨石的冻疮里
浇灌出雪莲的人,能从水仙花
清澈的眼珠里提炼出灵魂的人
肌肉里的光泽
我在哪一个世纪见过

注:水仙花(Sui Sin Far), 原名Edith Maude Eaton (1865-1914), 加拿大的中英混血女作家, 其英文短篇小说集《春郁夫人》(Mrs Spring Fragrance, 1912),内容主要围绕人权和女权,表达华人妇女儿童的心声。并有自传《水仙花:半这个血统作家的生涯》。 她充分肯定华工对建设加拿大和美国的卓越贡献,并为争取华人的平等权利而呐喊。
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冷水
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-01 23:00:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

在想和平岛的诗性,是诗化了这个世界后浓缩的,还是体验世界后提炼的.那么深刻.
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越来越蠢
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 02:35:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

能从一块巨石的冻疮里
提炼出灵魂的人
那笑容里的光泽
我在哪一个世纪见过
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 03:03:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

怎么样白的骨头,可在悬崖和深渊之间
找到一个止痛的平衡点
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踏过废墟,走来
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-02 05:50:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

冷水 wrote:
在想和平岛的诗性,是诗化了这个世界后浓缩的,还是体验世界后提炼的.那么深刻.


这是一个问题
我自己都感觉到了,文字的意象之间太紧了
少了一些呼吸的空间

后面我会注意的

谢谢冷水
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 09:59:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

支持这样有时代性的创作 !

Cool Laughing Laughing

.
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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上城
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 11:07:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

在美洲的华工和移民,听过一些报道,一段时间我也关注过(那是我最悲伤激愤的时期).尤其年轻的张纯如(国内的王选并列.她为什么不能入选那"十大感动"?!)女士,为了人类正义的呼声而不懈奔走,可终于无法面对人性的最黑暗处,她倒在了自己的枪口下.至今我都无法忘记(让男人觉得汗颜).我深切地感到国外的游子对我们这个古老民族的赤子之心.


至于这首诗觉得不过瘾.像连载长篇小说(当然不能跟诗相比),我想的是:岛主能不能让我一气读完?
强烈要求岛主写完后,再完完整整的发一遍.建议岛主注意全诗的整体性,前后的连贯性,大胆删削,斧劈.
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每个诗人都很重要
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 13:56:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

这方面的诗歌是空白吧
无论是意象上,选材上, 都是新的课题, 我也是在摸索中前进,
几条线之间, 如何处理, 如何穿插,都需要安排,
甚至不知道终点在哪里

谢谢点评
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 17:25:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

有感于PEACE深沉的思索, 和把笔触融入历史脉搏的勇气. 路是人走出来的, 真找不到目标时, 欢迎来TORONTO, 看一看铁路华工纪念碑 Very Happy
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