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《轮渡》影子
和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 15:54:38    Post subject: 《轮渡》影子 Reply with quote

当你看清
木地板抽出的嫩绿,如果也
似水流过的倒影是真实的
你就不能怀疑我
也曾雪片一般
坠落人环,又似尘埃
浮起于某盏漆黑的灯

你能说影子
就不可能迈步底片的圣殿?
而显形的必将消失,消失的
必将获得灵魂的救赎

我想我是那么爱你
我想我几乎跌倒了,亲爱的
抱着我,要像抱着传说中
新生的灵魂,那么

抱着彼此指尖的浪花
浪花之上颤抖的,是星辰,亲爱的
请不要惧怕这虚无的高度,星光之下
是鸥声幻化的羽翼。我们
将在光明来临之前,飞越一段
因为漆黑而消失的距离

甚至不知该如何称呼,而你
在我喊出之前
是真实的。在触摸之前
你的手
有树叶的形状,一片吻着一片

沿时光倒流。我几乎拥抱到了
你的真身。在急流卷走之前
我几乎喊出了
你的芳名
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齐遂林
秀才


Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 158

齐遂林Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 20:09:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

有质感,表达是否复杂了些?
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 23:02:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

齐遂林 wrote:
有质感,表达是否复杂了些?


谢谢齐遂林!

说得非常好
Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 11:03:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

改的真快
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遛达的七七
秀才


Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 13:37:42    Post subject: 嗷咬! Reply with quote

....嗷咬,下一跳! 越写越好了捏....
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 17:35:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

沿时光倒流。我几乎拥抱到了
你的真身。在急流卷走之前
我几乎喊出了
你的芳名
视野伸展,朗朗大野下浓烈的美意。
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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