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《秋天的毛毛雨》
山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-08 00:20:28    Post subject: 《秋天的毛毛雨》 Reply with quote
《秋天的毛毛雨》
文/ 山城子

你公开地灰暗了天气
隔窗的心
无法干爽

露天菜场游动许多伞
淋淋漓漓
遮不住秩序

（巳时记）
——2007-9-8于文化村
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-08 04:13:51    Post subject: Reply with quote
个人愚见,"天气"一词是不是可以换一下?
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-09 05:01:40    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢谢朋友！这里是移就与拈连的复合用法。
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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