半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
 Posted: 2007-06-19 04:23:24 Post subject: 梅花鹿(修改后的,请诗友砍砍)祝大家端午节快乐! |
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梅花鹿
文/半溪明月
你这爱的精灵
只在幸福的夜晚出现
站在高高的山岗
月光照亮你华贵的猗角
低声的呼唤借风传来
你这爱的密使
梅花斑点是火热的吻痕
媚惑的眼神,如星隼
嵌进树杆，坠入心湖
涟漪出一圈一圈的年轮
哦,这人类原初的美好
轻跃,旋转,奔跑
整个森林欢腾、宣泄
仰向月亮，我们放歌
天亮，你悄悄隐遁到山岗背后
2007-6-18 |
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hepingdao
Site Admin
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-06-19 06:51:32 Post subject: |
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很好的
_________________
为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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杨海军
进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-19 15:00:35 Post subject: |
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你这爱的密使
梅花斑点是火热的吻痕
媚惑的眼神,如星隼
嵌进树杆，坠入心湖
涟漪出一圈一圈的年轮
不错！问候诗人！！
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751 |
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溪语
秀才
Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-19 19:40:53 Post subject: |
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天亮，你从梦乡迅速遁隐
硬了点!
_________________
溪语的博客:家住鄂西 |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-19 21:55:28 Post subject: |
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| 溪语 wrote: |
天亮，你从梦乡迅速遁隐
硬了点! |
晨曦，你悄悄隐退到山岗背后
溪语,这样修改如何? |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-20 03:34:20 Post subject: |
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| hepingdao wrote: |
很好的
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问好岛主~  |
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白水
大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-20 04:35:21 Post subject: |
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| 唯美的诗歌 |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-20 04:36:04 Post subject: |
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| 杨海军 wrote: |
你这爱的密使
梅花斑点是火热的吻痕
媚惑的眼神,如星隼
嵌进树杆，坠入心湖
涟漪出一圈一圈的年轮
不错！问候诗人！！ |
问候海军诗人~ |
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