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投第三期  故乡的老榆树(外二首)
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 16:11:21    Post subject: 投第三期  故乡的老榆树(外二首) Reply with quote

故乡的老榆树(外二首)

我的童年就挂在那棵老榆树上
它守望在村口
几条路从它的脚下流向远方

树不停地分娩出新的叶子
不断有新鸟巢栖落在枝桠上
冬天 树上的叶子飞走了
鸟儿们就在枝条上飘舞成叶片
这些都和村庄发生的故事一样

但现在它老了
枝叶稀疏
一半身体已经枯稿
在风中发出痛苦的呻吟
像我患了血栓的祖父

静物

一张铺了白色台布的桌子
一瓶傲慢的XO酒
一只心虚的空杯子
一个花瓶捧着三枝玫瑰

还有西红柿 柑橘 香蕉 猕猴桃
它们收拢了翅膀被切开
零星散落了一点点处女般的鲜血

还有两片面包拥抱着一片绿菜叶
躺在盘子的席梦思上
床下睡着一柄叉子 一把刀

它们都在我书房墙上的画里
成为静物
在黑夜为它们拉上窗帘的时候
里面传来一阵喧闹声

表弟刘凯

昨天
表弟刘凯用一根绳子
把自己挂在房梁上
像一只蜘蛛

发疯的时候
他说自己是蜘蛛
并找来一些麻绳编成网的形状
在上面爬来爬去
还把五岁的侄儿当飞虫
折腾一番

表弟好的时候不是这样
他讨厌蜘蛛热爱蝴蝶
常把它们从蜘网上解救下来
直到他的妻子被一张网捕获
同时那张网也罩住了他的天空

表弟死了
好长时间 我们
都没有走出他编的那张网
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 18:29:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

这三首不错,修辞相对完整,唯一的不足也是整体的不足:表达太浅显。问好先生“)
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-30 03:33:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢掌门诗人!!!感激你的关注!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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