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岁寒
沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-26 07:48:19    Post subject: 岁寒 Reply with quote

岁寒

登上脚手架,柳叶飞刀
如命运的锋利。你缄默着
护肤广告,是另一个阶级的游戏
你从不关注皮毛的天气
昨夜,同伴叹及“年关”,这个旧词
在阳光之外继续捣鼓你沉沉的呼吸
驱使你的腰包,最终成为一个最难跨过的坎
是啊,北风算什么
年若无关,岁则不寒!


新年好

她好猪肉,这样的价格
让她感觉是从自己身上咬下来的
有忌口后,她逐渐放下家务
我依次拣起
适值新年,她已是一个窈窕淑女


左岸香

童年,不过桥、不拐弯
直直地游到左岸
在祖先坟头,谈荤论素
忤逆与孝顺的儿孙们
打理出一阵阵花香,让我们觉得
时光不苍白,祖先很幸福
不知道明天怎样,我们就准备
略去生时的浮华或穷困
在这里挤一挤
叫醒祖先,咽下所有愧疚的语言
一起嘻水、闻花香

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溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-26 08:07:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

知己携手历岁寒!
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克文
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Joined: 08 Jul 2007
Posts: 367

克文Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-26 09:42:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

读几个同题的!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-26 21:06:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

最欣赏<新年好>. 通俗, 生动,有内涵.
正因为欣赏, 想探讨, 如果不要最后一句:

新年好

她好猪肉,这样的价格
让她感觉是从自己身上咬下来的
有忌口后,她逐渐放下家务
我依次拣起
适值新年,她已是一个窈窕淑女

会怎样?
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-27 03:10:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
最欣赏<新年好>. 通俗, 生动,有内涵.
...


很好的意见!
问几位好!
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