Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
 发表于: 2011-09-14 14:59:34 发表主题: September (Haiku) |
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balancing
on a tree stump
one-legged crane
Twin Towers
the smoking of
wildfires
wondering
about the moon
I pack up my mind
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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SLIU
秀才
注册时间: 2010-01-01
帖子: 384
SLIU北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-14 18:34:14 发表主题: |
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silver light
streaming out
I unpack my mind
Twin Towers
the smoking of
cigars
not sure of the first one ^_^ |
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-15 08:17:45 发表主题: |
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Nice rewrite, I like how yours is in contrast with mine - pack, unpack.
The second one, it is meant much more than the smoke of cigars. 
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-15 15:26:46 发表主题: |
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| sliu6 写到: |
| not sure of the first one ^_^ ... |
What are you not sure of, the meaning of my first one or how to rewrite something like that?
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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SLIU
秀才
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SLIU北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-15 22:15:17 发表主题: |
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I like the contrast too..
1st one, is it based on something happened in september? |
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-16 08:01:00 发表主题: |
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These are all written in this September either by observation or feeling...since usually there is no title for haiku, I just add September there for this group.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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SLIU
秀才
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SLIU北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2011-09-16 21:39:01 发表主题: |
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| Thanks for your explanation. A nice group... |
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