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Angry Summer
Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2010-04-27 05:53:35    发表主题: Angry Summer 引用并回复

Angry Summer

Don’t be rhetorical, my dear, don’t be rhetorical
when you decide to leave but say it's fate I suppose.
Don’t roll ephemeral ever forever off your tongue
for who'd tune an ear to a solemnly flippant oath.

Don’t hide behind an email with heart wrenching
words like a woman wearing a veil wets her handkerchief.
It’s time when water subsides, rocks emerge
I’ll laugh off this angry summer with a joyous grief.

The moon's never been this huge this round this orange
as I drive up the top of the hillside, seeing her full visage.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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justjust123
童生


注册时间: 2009-11-01
帖子: 22

justjust123北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2010-06-03 21:05:13    发表主题: 引用并回复

on the top of a hill, you gaze upon the moon, bright and yet silent. then you look down and see another moon in water. suddenly fish leap everywhere . o, there are more fish in the sea.

the line 'It’s the time when...' does not sound right, it seems
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Lake
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注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2010-06-05 07:11:56    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks Just for the read. I thought it'd sink to the bottom of the page without any comments.

Can you elaborate on why the line doesn't sound right?

Thanks.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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justjust123
童生


注册时间: 2009-11-01
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justjust123北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2010-06-05 10:13:03    发表主题: 引用并回复

When I was reading the line, I thought you meant : It’s time for water to subside and rocks to emerge.
If 'when' has to be used, this to me sounds a little more natural though I prefer the one above:
Now is the time when water subsides and rocks emerge.
Somehow, I do not feel 'it' and 'when' match here. Of course, I may be wrong.
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Lake
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注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2010-06-08 14:51:00    发表主题: 引用并回复

Now I see. I guess there's some difference between the two, is there?

Anyway, this is a tired expression. I don't quite like it.

Thanks for the explanation.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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