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| Search found 7 matches |
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
 Topic: 画堂春.陋室 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 0 Views: 935 |
 Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-02-02 13:29:02 Subject: 画堂春.陋室 |
| ]琴诗壁挂自成迷，
一枝独秀香弥。 此幽私语向谁提？ 娴情更有谁识？ 斗转星移岁逝， 马年摧老声息， 陋室修炼果无期。 有无皆叹急。[/b] |
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| Topic: 卜算子-咏兰（画配词） |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 17 Views: 3225 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-02-02 11:07:08 Subject: 卜算子-咏兰（画配词） |
| “獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。”
“清濁不同流，甘受時貧苦” 写情境好，喜欢。 此句“放”字用得准且妙。建议把“斗室”之“室”字还升点调， ... |
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| Topic: 七律-新春六十初度有感 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 14 Views: 2332 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-02-02 03:06:57 Subject: 七律-新春六十初度有感 |
| 笑老的前二句和后二句写得颇成功，只是中四句依我拙见，应还纠点平仄，而“望”字此仄音，也没入韵了吧？如校一下，是否更妙？ | |
| Topic: 【金缕曲】 除夕夜 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 23 Views: 5723 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-02-02 02:52:08 Subject: 【金缕曲】 除夕夜 |
| 赏读中，写情不错。标准词谱我没校读，如凭“二四六”之说，我建议对[我鬓悄然生华发]还作点平仄校改是否好点？ | |
| Topic: [八声甘州] 2014春节呤怀 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 3 Views: 1640 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-02-02 02:36:37 Subject: [八声甘州] 2014春节呤怀 |
| 晓松诗友你好，敬佩你读得够仔细的了，在此，表示感谢你真诚的指教。
说起学写词，我还属初学没入门的，多有领会不透的地方，定平仄也不尽标准 ... |
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| Topic: 七律 打 苍 蝇 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 1 Views: 597 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-01-18 20:34:32 Subject: 七律 打 苍 蝇 |
| 苍蝇虽小危害多，
听你宣诗我便和。 逐臭追腥其本性， 藏污纳秽尔绝活。 歪思羽翼行多远？ 邪念流芳能几何？ 梅放时节雪漫漫， 是谁冻死粪池 ... |
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| Topic: [八声甘州] 2014春节呤怀 |
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| 小山云子 Replies: 3 Views: 1640 |
Forum: 古韵新音 Posted: 2014-01-18 10:56:40 Subject: [八声甘州] 2014春节呤怀 |
| [八声甘州] 2014春节呤怀
中国广西柳州三江CD 天马扬蹄玉帝遣差， 驼着如意来。 大地吉祥气， 关山瑞霭， 华夏开怀。 此际兵强马壮也， 东 ... |
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