短篇小说 》 牛 Cattle 》
牛 Cattle
張愛玲 Zhang Ailing
Cattle
祿興銜着旱煙管，叉着腰站在門口。雨停，屋頂上的濕茅草亮晶晶地在滴水。地下，高高低低的黃泥潭子，汪着緑水。水心疏疏根狗尾草，隨着水渦，輕輕搖着淺慄色的穗子。迎面吹來的風，仍然是冰涼地從鼻尖擦過，不過似乎比鼕天多一點青草香。
祿興在門上磕磕煙灰，緊一緊束腰的帶子，牛欄走去。在那邊，初晴的稀薄的太陽穿過柵欄，在泥地上勻鋪着長方形的影和光，兩瘦怯怯的小黃雞抖着粘濕的翅膀，走來走去啄食吃，牛欄當面表面反面方面正面迎面滿面封面地面路面世面平面斜面前面下面四面十面一面洗心革面方方面面面貌面容面色面目面面俱到，積灰塵的空水槽寂寞地躺着，上鋪一層紙，曬着菜。角落，草屑還存在。柵欄有一面磨擦得白，那是從前牛吃飽草頸項癢時磨的。祿興輕輕地把手放在磨壞的柵欄上，撫摸着粗糙的木頭，鼻梁上一縷辛酸味慢慢上爬，堵住咽喉，淚水泛滿眼
睛。
他吃一驚——聽見背粗重的呼吸聲，當他回頭去看時，不知道從什麽時候起，祿興娘子已經立在他身，一樣也在直瞪瞪望着空的牛欄，頭髮被風吹得稀亂，下巴頦微微抖，淚珠在眼亂轉。他不響，她也不響，然而他們各人心的話大看得雪亮。瘦怯怯的小雞在狗尾草窩簌簌踏過，四下靜得很。太陽曬到菜上，隨風飄出一種溫和的臭味。
“到底打定主意怎樣？”她兜起藍圍裙來揩眼。
“……不怎樣。”“不怎樣！眼見就要立春，學家全家家庭家乡牽牛上田，我們的牛呢？”“明天我上三嬸娘去，去！”他不耐煩地將煙管托托敲着欄。“是的，說白話倒容易！三嬸娘同我們本是好親好鄰的，去年人來茶几升米，你不肯，現在反過來求人，人倒肯？”
他的不耐煩顯然是增進，越恨她揭他這個懺悔過的痛瘡，她偏要揭。說起來原該怪他自己得罪一好說話的三嬸娘，然而她竟捉住這個屢次作嘲諷的把柄——
“明天找蔣天貴去！”他背過身去，示不願意多搭話，然而她仿佛永遠不能將他的答認為滿足似的——
“天貴娘子當衆說過的，要牛，先付租錢。”
他垂下眼去，彎腰把小雞捉在手中，翻來覆去驗看它突出的肋骨和細瘦的腿；小雞在他的掌心吱吱地叫。
“不，不！”她激動地喊着，她已經領會到他無言的暗示。她這時似乎顯得比平時更蒼老一點，雖然她是三十歲滿的人，她那棕色的柔馴的眼睛，用那驚惶和懇求的眼色看着他，“這一趟我無論如何不答應！天哪！先是我那牛……我那牛……活活給人牽去，又是銀簪子……又該輪到這兩小雞！你一個男子漢，會打算我的東西——我問你，小雞是誰忍凍忍餓省下錢來買的？我問你哪——”她完全失掉自力，把藍圍裙蒙着臉哭起來。
“鬧着要牛也是你，不得雞也是你！”祿興背過臉去吸煙，拈一塊菜在手，嗅嗅，仍舊放在水槽上。
“就我一人不得——”她從祿興肩膀後面竭力地把臉伸過來。“你——你大氣，你把房子送人也得！我犯不着呢！何苦來，吃辛吃苦為人把握産，落得這一句話！皇天在上頭——先搶走我那牛，又是銀簪子，又該輪到雞！依你的意思，不如拿把刀來記我身上肉一片片剁下去送人倒淨！省得下次又出新花樣！”
祿興不做聲，擡起頭來望着黃泥墻頭上淡淡的斜陽影子，他知道女人的話是不必認真的，不到太陽落山她就會軟化起來。到底牛是正經事——不耕田，難道活等餓死嗎？這個，她雖然是女人，也懂得的。
黃黃的月亮斜挂在茅屋煙囪口上，濕茅草照成一片清冷的白色。煙囪正蓬蓬地冒炊煙，薫得月色迷迷□□，雞已經關在籠受不了，低低地，吱吱咯咯叫着。
茅屋門半開着，漏出一綫桔紅的油燈光，一個高大的人影站在門口把整個的門全塞滿，那是祿興，叉着腰在吸旱煙，他在想，明天，同樣的晚上，少雞群吱吱咯咯的叫聲，該是多麽寂寞的一晚啊！
天的早上，雞沒有叫，祿興娘子就起身把竈上點火，祿興跟着也起身，吃一頓熱氣蓬蓬的煨南瓜，把紅縛兩雞的腳，倒提在手，興興頭頭蔣走去。
黎明的天上漏出美麗的雨過天青色，樹枝噴緑芽，露珠亮晶晶地，一碰灑人一身。樹叢中露出一個個圓圓的土饅頭，牽牛花纏繞着墳尖，把它那粉紫色的小喇叭直伸進暴露在黃泥外的破爛棺材去。一個個牽牛扛鋤頭的人唱着歌經過它們。蔣的牛是一隻雄偉漂亮的黑水牛，溫柔的大眼睛在兩壯健的牛角的陰影下斜瞟着陌生的祿興，在祿興的眼，它是一個極尊貴的王子，值得犧牲十雞的，雖然它頸項上的皮被軛圈磨得稀爛。他儼然感到自己是王子的護衛統領，一種新的喜悅和驕傲充塞他的心，使他一路上高聲吹着口哨。
到目的地的時候，放牛的孩子負着主人的使命再三叮嚀他，又立在一邊監視他為牛架上犁耙，然離開他們。他開始趕牛。然而，牛似乎有意開玩笑，走三步便身子一沉，伏在地上不肯起來，任憑他用姓种种氏手段，它在那粗牛角的陰影下狡猾地斜睨着他。太陽光熱熱地照在他棉襖上，使他渾身都出汗。遠處的田埂上，農人順利地趕着牛，唱着歌，在他的焦躁的心頭掠過時都帶有一種譏嘲的滋味。“雜畜牲！欺負你老子，單單欺負你老子！”他焦躁地駡，刷地抽它一鞭子。“你——你——你雜的畜牲，還敢欺負你老子不敢？”牛的瞳仁突然放大，翻着眼望他，鼻孔漲大，噓噓地吐着氣，它那麽慢慢地，威嚴地站起來，使祿興很迅速地嗅着空氣中的危機。一種劇烈的恐怖的陰影突然落到他的心頭。他一斜身躲過那兩方向他衝來的巨角，很快地躺下地去和身一滾，骨碌碌直滾下斜坡的田隴去。一面滾，他一面聽見那漲大的牛鼻孔咻咻的喘息聲，覺得那一雙猙獰的大眼睛越逼越近，越近越大——和車輪一樣大，來他覺得一陣刀刺似的劇痛，又又腥的血流進口腔去——他失去知覺，耳邊似乎遠遠地聽見牛的咻咻聲和衆人的喧嚷聲。
又是一個黃昏的時候，祿興娘子披麻戴孝，送着一個兩人擡的黑棺材出門。她再三把臉貼在冰涼的棺材上，用她披散的亂揉擦着半的封漆。她那柔馴的戰抖的棕色大眼睛當面表面反面方面正面迎面滿面封面地面路面世面平面斜面前面下面四面十面一面洗心革面方方面面面貌面容面色面目面面俱到塞滿眼淚；她低低地用打顫的聲音告訴：
“先是……先是我那牛……我那會吃會做的壯牛……活活給牽走……銀簪子……陪嫁的九成銀，亮晶晶的銀簪子……接着是我的雞……還有你……還有你也給人擡去……”她哭得打噎——她覺得她一生中遇到的可戀的東西都長翅膀在涼潤的晚風中漸漸地飛去。
黃黃的月亮斜挂在煙囪，被炊煙薫得迷迷□□，牽牛花在亂墳堆張開粉紫的小喇叭，狗尾草簌簌地搖着慄色的穗子。展開在祿興娘子前面的生命就是一個漫漫的長夜——缺少吱吱咯咯的雞聲和祿興的高大的在燈前晃來晃去的影子的晚上，該是多麽寂寞的晚上呵!
（一九三六年）
Lu Xing mouth, pipe down pipe, Cha Zhaoyao at the door. The rain stopped, the roof thatch sparkling in the dripping wet. Underground, and the rough Wong Tanzi, Wang the green water. _Set_aria mind a few sparse water, with the water vortex, gently shaking light chestnut heads. Head-wind blowing, still cold from the tip of the nose grazed, but it seems a little more than winter grass incense.
Lu Xing knock knock on the door panel ash, a tight waist tight band, went to the cowshed. Over there, the beginning of the sun through the thin clear the fence, covered in mud uniform rectangular shadow and light, two small thin Qieqie shaking sticky yellow chicken wings, walk around pecking food, cattle bar inside, lonely, gathering dust, empty water tank lay, spread a layer of paper above, basking in the dried vegetables. Corner, there is dry grass litters. Side of the fence there was friction between white, it is used to neck itch grass fed cattle when grinding. Lu Xing gently worn hand on the fence, touched the rough wood, a ray of bitter taste on the bridge of the nose to climb slowly, blocking the throat, tears filled the eyes of the Pan-
Eyes.
He was taken aback - heard the sound of heavy breathing behind, when he was looking back, do not know since when, Lu Xing lady has _set_ behind him, as also Zhideng Deng looked at the empty cattle pens and hair dilute the wind mess, chin quivering, tears in the eyes of milling. He does not ring, she did not ring, but each of them if we see sharp mind. _Set_aria thin Qieqie chicks in the nest Susu tread, very quiet all around. To the sun dried on a gentle wind wafting the smell.
"In the end made up his mind what?" She scoop up blue apron to wipe eyes.
"... ... Not how." "No how! Saw the beginning of spring is necessary, and everyone brought the cattle on the land, our cows do?" "Tomorrow I'm on the maiden Aunt borrow, borrow!" He impatiently to smoke tube Toto knocked bar. "Yes, that vernacular down easy! Three aunt This is a good pro with our good neighbors, the last people to borrow a few liters meters, you will not, and now in turn ask for help, people willing to fall?"
His impatience is obviously enhanced, the more she discovers that he hated the pain of this confession had sores, she still chose to expose. Speaking of the original offended that he has always been strange to speak of the three good aunt, but she actually caught the irony of this repeatedly for the handle -
"Tomorrow, look for Jiang Tiangui go!" He turned backwards, that do not want more than a word, but she never seemed to like his answer that meet -
"Days of your lady said in public, would like to take cattle, prepaid rent money."
He lowered his eyes, and bending to catch the chicken in hand, over and over again looks for its prominent ribs and thin legs; chicken creak in his palm to call.
"No, no!" She cried excitedly, she figured he implied silent. She now seems a little hoarse than usual, though she is only just over three-year-old man tame her soft brown eyes, with the kind of panic and pleading glance at him, "This trip I am in any case no yes! God! first my my beef cattle ... ... ... ... led to the people alive, but also Yinzan child ... ... what should turn these two chicks! You a man, I only intend to something - I ask you, who bear frozen chicken to save money for hungry bear? I ask you what - "she was completely lost self-control, the blue cloth apron and a veiled woman wept.
"Clamor for cattle also would like to take you, is you could not bear the chicken!" Lu Xing turn away and smoking, twist a piece of dried vegetables in his hand, sniffed, still on the sink.
"I am a person not want to -" Lu Xing shoulder, she tried to stretch over his face. "You - you air, you are also willing to give as gifts to the house! I do not worthwhile! Why bother to eat for the people suffering around the house shook Xin production, only to end up these words! Heaven at the top - the first took away my cattle , but also Yinzan child, what should turn chicken! by what you mean, it is better to take the knife to remember me chop off a piece of meat to give it away down clean! save next time out new tricks! "
Lu Xing silent, looked up into the _set_ting sun light Wong shadow on the wall, he knew that if a woman is not serious, she will not soften up the sun _set_s. By cattle is a serious matter in the end - not till the fields, do not live and so starve it? This, though she is a woman, but also understood.
Xiegua yellow moon on the chimney in the cottage, according to the wet grass into a crisp white. Puff is to take the chimney smoke, have smoked on bedroom □ □, the chicken has been in a cage, and whispered, creak clucked.
Hut door was ajar, oil leakage line orange light, a tall figure standing in the doorway filled with all the doors the whole, it was Lu Xing, Cha Zhaoyao in the suction pipe down, he thought, tomorrow, the same night, less squeaky giggle chickens cry, which is how lonely a night ah!
The day after tomorrow morning, did not have a name, Lu Xing lady got up and ordered to fire on the stove, along with Paul Hing also got up, ate a hot meal of baked pumpkin Puff, the red cloth tied to the two chickens in the foot, put down In the hands of Jiang Xing Xing went to the head.
To the destination, the children bear the cattle owner's mission Zaisandingning him, then stand at the side to monitor his cattle rack rake, and then left them. He began to cattle was. However, cattle seem interested in joking, just take the three steps will be the body sank, and fell to the ground would not, despite his best all means, it is only in that the shadow of thick horn he slyly peered askance. Hot sun to shine on his jacket, so he was covered in sweat all out. Distant ridge, farmers successfully drove them, and sang, in his anxious mind with a mocking when they crossed the taste. "Hybrid animal! Bully you I, I just bully you!" He impatiently cursing, brush it and smoked it for a whip. "You - you - you hybrid beast, I can not dare to bully you?" Cow suddenly enlarged pupil, and turned over the look up to him, nose up big, boo to spitting gas, which then slowly , the dignity to stand up, so Paul Hing very quickly sniffs the air in the crisis. A sudden sharp falls the shadow of terror to his heart. That he survived two Xieshen rushed to his giant horn, and soon lay down to go and the body of a roll, rolling down the slope straight Gulu Lu Tian Long to go. Side of the roll, he heard the up side of a large cattle Xiu Xiu's nostrils the breath, and think that a pair of hideous eyes nearer, nearer the larger - and as big as the wheel, and later stabbed while he felt like a drama pain, blood and salty and fishy import cavity go - he lost consciousness, the ear seems far Xiu Xiu heard the sound of cattle and clamor of the crowd noise.
Another evening, Lu Xing lady Pimadaixiao, sending two men carried a black coffin to go out. She repeatedly pressed his face in cold coffin board, with her loose on the roots rub a damp seal paint. The shaking her soft brown trainer eyes filled with tears inside; she whispered with a trembling voice told:
"First ... ... First, my cows will eat it ... ... I will do to the strong ox pulled out alive ... ... ... ... ... ... dowry Yinzan Jiucheng child silver, shiny Yinzan is my child ... ... and then the chicken ... ... and you ... ... and you also give lift to the ... ... "she cried to play choke - she felt that her life can be encountered in all things love to grow wings in the cool of the evening breeze gradually Run fly.
Yellow moon Xiegua in the chimney, get smoked by the smoke drifted □ □, open purple morning glory in the Luanfen heap of small speakers, shaking Susu _Set_aria maroon heads. Lady Lu Xing start in life is in front of a long night - the lack of a creak sound of clucking chickens and Lu Xing, tall in the light dangling before the shadow of the night, how lonely the night Oh!
(1936)
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