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| 现代诗歌 | | 古韵新音 | | 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 A Firefly(原创双语小诗)
The soul of a fairy twinkling
With eyes flickering and charming.
Palm it under the green vines thither.
And with love we look at each other .
萤火虫
闪闪仙子魂，
荧荧妩媚眼。
笼之绿藤下，
脉脉两相看。
2008-05-22 01:10:39 |
| Lake ?2008-05-25 18:51:50?? |  |
中文小诗很可爱。
四行英文诗，其中有 四个 -ing , that bothers me. I know it's my problem. 前两行我想至少可以去掉一个 -ing. 最后一行
And look at each other loving
Doesn't sound right to my ear. Maybe 'look at each other with love' or 'look at each other lovingly'?
还有，后两句好像缺了个主语。
Just a thought.
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| 钓月 ?2008-05-26 01:55:48?? | |
It's been already revised. Thanks a lot. Now see whether it's a little better.
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