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赠母亲二首新诗
柿子
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Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Posts: 137
Location: 中国河南商丘职业技术学院大一
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PostPosted: 2007-10-04 21:57:23    Post subject: 赠母亲二首新诗 Reply with quote

<<捡破烂的那双手>>

捡破烂的那双手
是我妈妈的
她抱过睡在路中央的易拉罐
她摸过躺在墙角的破纸带
她捧过草丛里的锈铁渣


捡破烂的那双手
是我妈妈的
她常被北风逗的笑出红色的泪花
她常背着冰雪变成胖娃娃
她常被烈日谗的口水不住地流下


捡破烂的那双手
是我妈妈的
她由过去的纤小变的厚大
她由以前的光滑变的粗糙
由夕日的细嫩变的苍老她

这就是我妈妈的那双手
捡破烂的那双手
这样的一双手给了我一切的一切
这样的一双手给了我所有的所有
你妈妈的那双手是不是也是这个样子?






<<寒冬思母>>

大雪纷飞,
覆盖着宽广的大地。
寒风阵阵,
无情地刀割着温热的面孔。


母亲何处?
湿润的眼眶模糊。
怕打工的母亲会在此时,
奔波流浪?
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 00:57:30    Post subject: Reply with quote



很好的诗歌。。

[朋友 来了也给其他诗友回回贴。。]


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桔子
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

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PostPosted: 2007-10-06 15:59:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好母亲 Very Happy
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-06 22:30:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

提柿子的诗,写母亲很好
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柿子
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Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Posts: 137
Location: 中国河南商丘职业技术学院大一
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 00:41:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢朋友光顾,区区问好诸位了。还有啊,我不是不回诗友的贴,只是我来网吧不易啊。我除了周日下午外,一般情况我都在学校啊。我门周日下午不上课,我来这里发发贴,然后还要赶紧回学校呢?我时间不多啊,所以就很少给各位诗友回贴,请大家别生我的气,好吗?我在这里向朋友们赔礼了:对不起啊,请多多原谅。我会尽量回朋友们的贴的,别介意哦。不过,回的有不当之处,还请原谅哦。问好各位.......
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柿子
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Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Posts: 137
Location: 中国河南商丘职业技术学院大一
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 00:43:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢朋友光顾,区区问好诸位了。还有啊,我不是不回诗友的贴,只是我来网吧不易啊。我除了周日下午外,一般情况我都在学校啊。我门周日下午不上课,我来这里发发贴,然后还要赶紧回学校呢?我时间不多啊,所以就很少给各位诗友回贴,请大家别生我的气,好吗?我在这里向朋友们赔礼了:对不起啊,请多多原谅。我会尽量回朋友们的贴的,别介意哦。不过,回的有不当之处,还请原谅哦。问好各位.......
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nobody
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 01:10:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

不容易。两首都很真挚。哇,高中二年级。比我那时候强多了。当然,比我现在也不差。 Very Happy
两个构思都很好,可以改进的地方是描述,节奏可以更个性化。

也很懂事。好好念书,将来回报你妈妈。另外,把你对她的爱,亲口告诉她。
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