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pus in the ground (for those died in the earthquake)
博弈
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注册时间: 2006-12-21
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来自: SFO
博弈北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2013-04-30 04:30:12    发表主题: pus in the ground (for those died in the earthquake) 引用并回复

pus in the ground (for those died in the earthquake)


call it whatever you want
I see debris as always
mixed with blood

yes, look it up in a new dictionary
where all last
names are listed

recall them one more time
they shaked our tonsils
_________________
(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2013-04-30 21:03:47    发表主题: 引用并回复

博弈 写到:
pus in the ground (for those died in the earthquake)
they shaked our tonsils


good.

Is 'shaked' acceptable these days. Wink
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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博弈
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博弈北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2013-04-30 22:29:46    发表主题: 引用并回复

the simple answer is
"shaked" does not appear in a standard dictionary,
it is a dialectal past tense of shake.
(then why do I use it?)

"yes, look it up in a new dictionary"

in the poem, it implies earthquake is accidental, non-standard?
and is to remind people of the quake ( a synonym of shake),
I keep the ake also to imply ache, the exact sound effect is carried over,
such that "tonsils" hurt.

Then the dictioanry is really not a dictinary, but a list of names,
we look it up to find those who died; we do look up, don't we?.
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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Lake
举人


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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2013-04-30 22:55:10    发表主题: 引用并回复

I like the sound of it even though it is not found in a dictionary.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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帖子发表于: 2013-04-30 23:10:38    发表主题: 引用并回复

Even Shakespeare used slang. Laughing


the poetics here is
pass the normal past (tense)
to see the present

(this is of course not taught in school, that's why it is poetry)

skaked is used dialectally, street language too.
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SLIU
秀才


注册时间: 2010-01-01
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SLIU北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2013-05-02 09:42:06    发表主题: 引用并回复

您的诗总是暗藏玄机。。
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帖子发表于: 2013-05-02 13:37:29    发表主题: 引用并回复

I am painting your brain
with words as colors
Put you through an MRI
what is reflected
those images you created
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